Many a time I wonder why I dislike people easily as I always ‘try’ to love people. Upon introspection, I find out that there are lots of things happening behind the picture.
We are creatures of emotions I believe. There should be an equilibrium or free flow of emotions between us and our relationships.
When I relate with people when there are times when I need to express my anger, times when I need to tell fuck off to the other person, times when I need to stand for what I need, and when I need to disagree with the other(s), I don’t do it and express my voice. This is due to lots of reasons such as anxiety, negative thinking, fear of hurting the other, seeking external validation or desperately trying to be ‘nice’ and ‘loving’.
This creates a blockage of emotional energy within. They are never given a chance to be released until a tipping point, a point of complete madness.
And so, the interaction with the other mentioned becomes difficult, because there is something inside waiting to come out and explode but not given a chance. And no wonder, after some time I get tired and start to dislike the other person.
This is a perpetual cycle. This is also a developmental issue when a child is not loved and appreciated for what he is and given a space to express himself. And hence the child never learns to express himself.
This is why I feel a loving atmosphere is very important to the development of a child, to become a free and creative being who has lots of self-love and hence capable of loving others.
The only way out is to become conscious of the whole process and begin the process of ‘unlearning’. And so, for those, I ‘secretly’ dislike, which they themselves might not know, there is a lot going on behind.
And the work is in progress. 🙂